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TPoTF - Old Version by *Magic-fan:iconMagic-fan:


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©2008-2009 *Magic-fan
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Author's Comments

NEW, REVISED, VERSION!
[link]

The prologue of a book I am writing!
I had this burst of inspiration, thought it over for a few minutes, and decided to start writing ^.^
This is the result, and after this Chapter One will start.
Though the prologue is all I will be posting on DeviantArt.

As you most likely figured out, starting Chapter One, it will be written from the child's view, years later.

Opinions would be appreciated ^.^ Good or bad, I don't care.
Tips, advice, anything? Go ahead ^^
I'll take anything I can get.
Enjoy!
:hug:

Damien & Others © Me

Xx Natasha

Critiques


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:iconcamuiahren:
hmmmm, not many comments yet, ne? XD

anyway, first i'd like to point out a minor mistake: "The child haven been taken away not even" i think the haven is wrong? lol

anyway, it sounds interesting, though a bit cliche.... i hope the story itself will change that idea :D good luck with the book :D

are you going to try and publish it with a publisher?

--
Go to ~EmotionsDotCom for my multi-chapter stories!

You want feedback on your work?? let me know!
Any form and any genre, I'll accept as long as you take it serous.
:iconmagic-fan:
Yeah, not many xD

Well, I've had people proof-read it and no one has said it's wrong xD But I'm not completely sure...

Cliche? How so?

Yeah, I'm going to try ^.^

Xx Natasha

--
- I am a Prose Admin for *DailyLitDeviations
:iconcamuiahren:
hmmm? oh the whole "i'm a demon/devil and i'm looking for some person on earth and people will try to stop me!" kinda thing.... i hope it's just the prologue, but if i see the others stuff you've written, i think it might be false alarm =D just write your story, even if my idea is "cliche", it's still intresting, like i said before! lol look at how cliche some of the books are that became best-sellers :lmao: cliche doesn't have to mean a thing =D

anyway, if you're sending it to publishers, good luck! i wanted to do that too, but after 3 years i still haven't finished the story ^^; lol i'm too much of a perfectionist :lmao:

--
Go to ~EmotionsDotCom for my multi-chapter stories!

You want feedback on your work?? let me know!
Any form and any genre, I'll accept as long as you take it serous.
:iconmagic-fan:
lol xD
That's definitely different from how it really is.

I'm still working on it. I'm at chapter ten ^.^

Xx Natasha

--
- I am a Prose Admin for *DailyLitDeviations
:iconcamuiahren:
hahahaha good to hear so ^^

anyway, when you're finished... i'm really curious about it now, so please let me know if it's readable somewhere =D

cya~! :wave:

--
Go to ~EmotionsDotCom for my multi-chapter stories!

You want feedback on your work?? let me know!
Any form and any genre, I'll accept as long as you take it serous.
:iconmagic-fan:
^.^

I'll make sure to do so =D

Xx Natasha

--
- I am a Prose Admin for *DailyLitDeviations
:iconcamuiahren:
yay :w00t:

--
Go to ~EmotionsDotCom for my multi-chapter stories!

You want feedback on your work?? let me know!
Any form and any genre, I'll accept as long as you take it serous.
:iconenshroudedvixen:
Awesome stuff right here :D Very well written, and this prologue is fitting for the beginning. Damn Damien for not healing his wife D: Curse him! :shakefist:
The only tip I'll give you is to separate your ideas in separate paragraphs. You've got some down, yes, but it also has to apply with people speaking (1 person speaks per paragraph) no matter how short the paragraph may be. As long as it isn't just one sentence. :XD:
But yeah! Great job, and good luck with your book! :aww:

--
Rest in peace, Jack, Ciocza Kriszia, Priest Stanislaw :heart:

I'll paint the walls of the palace with your blood. ~Touzokuou

Chuuuuu~ =3
:iconmagic-fan:
Thank you ^.^
xD Damien had more important things on his mind than her.
Yeah, I still need to take the time to do that. You're the second person to give me that tip xD
Thank you so much~ :hug:

Xx Natasha

--
- I am a Prose Admin for *DailyLitDeviations
:iconenshroudedvixen:
Still, that was rather bastardly XD
Heehee, yes, as I would think =3
No problem! :heart:

--
Rest in peace, Jack, Ciocza Kriszia, Priest Stanislaw :heart:

I'll paint the walls of the palace with your blood. ~Touzokuou

Chuuuuu~ =3

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September 30, 2008
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